After the birth of our baby boy I was prepared for many new challenges as a first time father. What I did not expect or plan for was to experience a love so spectacular that it hurts.
I always heard people saying “few things are as big as a mothers love for her child”. And for the first time I can begin to understand the magnitude of this love.
I became a father on the 2nd of November this year and it was an experience like no other. We were blessed with a healthy boy and our lives were changed forever. That first week laid the ground work for the next few months/years as our new family of 3 now learned to connect as 1 for the first time. That first week was a massive adjustment for me. It’s not easy to all of a sudden take on this huge responsibility of taking care of a new born baby and do everything right. I felt I had to do everything right.
I expected to sleep little, I expected to learn a lot. I expected to take on the responsibility and do so without question. I expected to serve both my son and my wife like never before. Cleaning dishes, doing laundry, cooking dinner, driving to the shop multiple times a day, etc. This I could plan for and just suck it up and man-up.
What I did not expect was to so hopelessly and utterly fall in love with this little boy that I was unable to function logically. It was like a bond of love was weaved into reality the moment our son gave his first breath of life. A bond that continues to grow. I felt so directly connected to our baby that every time he cried I wanted to cry. Every time he smiled I wanted to smile. When he was in pain I was literally in pain as well. I’m not exaggerating. I dealt with these emotions in a way that suits my personality (and as a typical male). Identify the problem (or possible problem) or reason why baby is crying and find a solution by asking someone with more experience. This was not necessarily the best way to handle the matter but the point I am trying to make is because of the bond of love so tight and real I experienced the same emotions our baby did. These emotions that makes a parent do anything…anything for their child.
I almost want to be as bold to say I started feeling like Jesus. He was willing to die for humanity because all humanity are his children. And if any of this is true then he must love each and every person as much as I love my son. Let THAT sink in. That makes a decision to die in the place of a child so much easier. So much easier its obvious. I would do it without even thinking twice.
It is this love that continues to grow inside me as our boy grows. It gives me immeasurable joy when he gives me a smile, and immeasurable pain when he cries.
This is a love like no other.
This is a love unexpected.
This is the love of a father.