I never thought this would be a scenario I would ever find myself in. And I may have exaggerated a bit in the title of this post.
After what I’ve been through the last few months in my job I started smoking again. The challenges I faced at work had both a positive and negative effect on my marriage. I guess smoking helped me cope? I know it makes no sense, but one thing happened that I completely caught me off guard:
Working from home I started taking quick breaks outside to go and have a smoke. But, my wife who then supported me with the current work situation joined me outside and had a smoke with me. Yup she’s a social smoker and always managed to stop quite easily. Not me, I need to prepare myself mentally again for when I feel I am ready to stop again.
But us having these “moments” together outside was something we’ve never had before. During normal times I was at the office the entire day, during bad times I would just be sitting at my desk at home the entire time. But now… we had easily 4 moments a day of say 5 minutes together outside where we just… chat.
How’s your day going?
Hey I just chatted to…
You know I forgot to tell you…
I feel…
Conversations we would have never had if we did not have these moments together. These moments became priceless for us. With our son around in the afternoons and evenings the “sneaking outside to have a smoke together” was exciting, fun. Childish. But amazing.
These moments started binding us closer, breaking barriers, opening us up to feel safe and respected in each others presence again.
Who would have thought.