How do you know if you have depression?
I found myself in a situation where I need to ask the question to myself: Do I suffer from depression? Don’t we all? And if you are able to tell how do you do something about it?
With the recent events that have shrouded most of 2019 I did a test on the recommendation of a therapist that would provide a few biological indicators that should point to the presence of depression in me. These indicators came back as 100% normal but I am now at the mercy of the medical doctor (whom I never view in a very positive light, mostly for this exact reason) still insists that I need to take medication for my depression.
I can go on for hours on how illogical and plain irresponsible it is to give such a recommendation on nothing more than a few whatsapp messages from a therapist, and I can go on about how medication is too easily prescribed these days without really knowing what is going on. But, I wont 🙂
I therefor stop, and truthfully ask the question: Do I suffer from depression? Do I show the signs? And this is where it gets confusing: We all will show some symptom of depression and with a clever argument almost any person can be cornered into believing they have depression. Feeling sad? Yup.. you have depression. Not going to the gym anymore… oohh thats a sign. Not playing PC games anymore.. another major sign as it is something you deeply love that you are not doing. Not sleeping well? That is another sign…See? Let’s look at the very simple explanations for these:
It’s winter, and gym membership was cancelled to save money. Not a sign of depression
Not playing PC games cause I am not relating to the latest WoW expansion, I am waiting for the next expansion
Rough night/week with little sleep? Yeah my son is in this phase where he wakes up and random times in the night and calls me to go lie with him (something I struggle to do and fall back to sleep)
Do I have depression? I dont know, I don’t think so. But what I do have is a certain level of frustration, and sadness, and stress. It is boiling up inside me, and it needs to spill out. Somehow. I want to yell so loud that the world hears me. Without my voice, without being heard I am nothing.