I’ve recently found myself on the wrong side of a mandatory vaccination policy of the company that I work for. When my breach of policy became official I was put on leave until it all got sorted. This ended up being 4 weeks leave.┬áDuring these 4 weeks I found myself questioning many things. It was a pretty stressful period coupled with some great moments that made me question what I do, and what I want to do.

With a dark could of uncertainty hanging over my head with regards to my employment, standing true to what I believe, taking the vaccine, and dealing with not telling family I committed to achieving a few things; I kept on exercising, I studied during the day and I did all the school-runs and attended all the sporting activities of my son. I was an awesome time considering.

It made me question why I sit in front of a laptop working the way I do day after day dealing with all the stress? Why cant I have a part-time job or be a stay-at-home dad? Why can’t I take 1 year (or even 5) to “find myself” and do any business I love regardless of the amount of money it brings in?

The people closest to me simply don’t understand the situation I am in. I am a husband, I am a dad, I am a son, I need to provide. If I don’t then who will? I cant just up and quit. So I forego the dream of sitting next to the field watching my son play rugby because someone needs to pay for the rugby lessons. Someone needs to do the actual work. That someone is me.

HTFU boy!

Its only me out there.

A man.

Get up!

Stop bitching.

Remember who you are doing this for.

Remember your why.